ORIENTATION TO AMERICAN CULTURAL VALUES
Your Name
Your name is a very
important part of you. You should not change your name or “Americanize” it to
make it easier for others to remember. Americans can learn to say your name
properly, if not perfectly. They may even be proud to learn how to pronounce
it.
Your name belongs to
you, and you should expect others to learn how to say it, but be patient: help
your new friends learn to say your name.
Time
Americans see time as
limited. They put great emphasis on being “on time”. It is important to be on
time to classes, social events, public events, and appointments. Americans
generally feel that time spent waiting is wasted and will resent having to
wait. If you must miss an appointment or if you will be late, it is polite to
telephone the person you were supposed to meet to cancel or delay your meeting.
Americans also
generally prefer to complete one task before beginning another task. Americans
resent it when people ask them to do more than one thing at a time. In American
culture, it is considered rude to interrupt someone when they are doing
something. It is better to let an American know you have arrived, and then
politely wait until he or she has finished what he/she is doing.
Informality
Although in some places
the atmosphere is quite formal, in others, it is very informal. Treating guests
informally is not being rude, but rather a way of taking you into the intimate
circle of family and friends. For Americans, being asked to “help yourself”, or
to serve yourself, is a great honor. Although Americans frequently address each
other by given rather than family names, at first meeting, it is best to use a
person’s title (Doctor, Professor, Mister, or Missus) unless invited to do
otherwise. Typically in the South, it is very common to address older people as
“Sir” (for a man) or “Ma’am” (for a woman).
Directness
Being open and direct
in expressing your desires, preferences, and feelings, or in discussing issues,
events, and most ideas is considered proper in the United States. However, most
Americans are generally hesitant to discuss religion, political beliefs, age,
weight, or salary. Americans are particularly sensitive about their physical
appearance. It is VERY rude to tell a person that he/she is overweight or fat,
unless he/she is a very close friend.
It is important for you
to be direct and honest with Americans in expressing your opinion, feelings,
and preferences. If you feel uncomfortable about something you are asked to do,
make your feelings known. For example, if you are asked to speak in front of a
large group and would prefer not to do so, it is polite to decline the
invitation to speak.
Competitiveness
Americans place high value
on achievement and success, and this leads them to compete with each other. You
will find both friendly and not-so-friendly competition. Although competing is
natural to many Americans, they also have a good sense of “teamwork” –
cooperating with others toward a common goal.
Inquisitiveness
Americans are generally
very curious. American education encourages inquisitiveness and asking many
questions. Try to be patient when an American asks you a question about your
country, even if the question seems ridiculous. This is your chance to educate
them about your culture. You will also learn a great deal about the United
States by asking questions yourself.
Equality
Americans are taught
from childhood that “all people are equal”. This is called “egalitarianism”,
and is a high social value. There are many “equal rights” movements among
minorities. In general, Americans try to treat women and men, members of
different racial and ethnic groups, and heterosexuals and homosexuals equally.
American society is
very “pluralistic”. No other country in the world has so many different kinds
of people living together in relative peace. Americans are very proud of the
diversity of people who live here. It has been very difficult for Americans of
different backgrounds to learn to tolerate each other and to live together
peacefully.
However, like all
societies, the United States has many people with rigid and prejudicial ideas
about people, food, customs, and proper ways of living. For example, the role
of women in the United States is changing. Women’s movements aim to insure that
women have opportunities equal to those of men. Women play a very visible role
in this country. You will find women business leaders, police officers,
professors, and political leaders. Most people believe that one day the United
States will have a woman president.
People of different
race, religious beliefs, and national origins have full, legal, equal rights.
Most members of the academic community will not tolerate racial or religious
insults or jokes. In the university environment, racial or religious insults
could get you into trouble.
One other note: in many
large and small cities in the United States, you may well encounter
homosexuals, and some homosexuals will be very open about their lives. Gays
(homosexual men) and Lesbians (homosexual women) are everywhere. Many Americans
believe that homosexuals have equal rights as well, and many Americans are
tolerant: insulting or abusing homosexuals is considered rude, and can also get
you into serious trouble in the academic environment. If you have questions or
concerns about homosexuality, you should ask a trusted counselor or advisor.
Personal
Hygiene
Americans are very
concerned with personal hygiene. Most Americans take frequent baths or showers,
typically washing their hair every day. Americans use many types of toiletries,
deodorants and perfumes. Americans also change their clothes every day.
Americans find natural body odors very unpleasant. Although frequent bathing
and use of chemical deodorants, soaps and perfumes may not seem necessary to
you, adhering to local customs will have a positive effect on your social
relationships here in the United States.
Social
Relationships:
Friendships
Friendships among
Americans tend to be different than those among people from some other
cultures. Americans may have a few very close friends, but they also develop
many less intense social relationships with people. Americans tend to have many
“friends” – people with whom they have work, class, social, or sexual
relationships. The American concept of friendship is difficult to understand.
Many international students feel some frustration in their attempts at forming
and maintaining friendships with Americans. This is not meant to discourage you
from making friends with Americans, it is only intended to make you aware that
behavior between American friends might be different from what you would
expect.
Public Displays of
Affection (PDAs)
In normal situations,
Americans tend to avoid “Public Displays of Affection”, or “PDAs” between
friends of the same or different sex. In general, Americans do not hug or
hold hands with their friends in public areas unless it is some special
occasion. PDAs may lead to lead
Americans to misunderstand the nature of your friendship when in public. In
private, Americans may hug or hold hands with their friends.
Romantic partners may
show PDA’s, but only within limits: hand holding and short kisses in public are
OK, but prolonged kissing and other activities are considered offensive, and
even strangers may ask them to stop.
Romantic
Relationships
Romantic relationships
may seem very different from your own country. Dating is acceptable between
people, and is usually arranged with an informal invitation from a man,
although it is increasingly acceptable for a woman to give the invitation.
Accepting or offering a “date”
does not necessarily mean that you are interested in marriage, or a
serious or sexual relationship. People often get together to go to movies or to
dinner to have a good time and to get to know someone. Most Americans will date
many people and regard them as friends.
In the United States,
marriage normally happens only after a person has had several romantic
relationships. Only the two people in the relationship can make decisions about
carrying the relationship further: family members – including parents – have
very little influence in any marriage decisions.
Sexual relationships
are common when two people become romantically involved. Sexual relationships
can be very difficult – and dangerous. You should take time to think, and get
advice from a trusted counselor or advisor before beginning a sexual
relationship.
Language and
Dialects
Spoken English may
sound very fast to you. If you have trouble understanding a person, ask them to
slow down or repeat what they said. Do not hesitate to ask questions.
There are a number of
spoken dialects in the United States. In Atlanta, you may hear people speaking
with two or more dialects. The most common dialects are “Black English” (also
called Ebonics), spoken by African Americans, and “Piedmont English”, spoken
generally by white people. Both dialects can be difficult to understand, but
with patience, communication is possible, and very rewarding.
Americans who are not
used to communicating with international students may behave strangely.
Particularly, they may speak louder, move their arms and hands quickly, and in fact seem “angry”. This is not
the case. Remember, Americans are very inquisitive, and are often eager to
learn about your country and culture. Speaking loudly and moving the body is a
natural human reaction to misunderstanding.
Americans, particularly
students, use a great deal of “slang,” which is a trendy, culturally oriented,
or informal way of speech. Often, slang cannot be understood without an
explanation. If you don’t understand a word or phrase, ask what it means and
how it is used. Most Americans will be amused by your attempt to understand,
and will happily help you.
Americans often
abbreviate words. For example: Georgia Perimeter College is often referred to
as “GPC”, Biology is referred to as “Bio”, and English as Second Language is
referred to as “ESL”.